HERE’S TO NEW BEGINNINGS

For months now I have been obsessing over writing my own book. In an attempt towards this direction, I have scribed the initial words which I consider to be the first chapter of the book. I do not know what I am getting myself into in the long run, but anyone who is in love with words and convinced that they can learn a bit about putting the words properly into a sentence and taking their love into a whole new level like myself should once in a while indulge in fantasies about having a book by themselves in a shelf. My love for writing has grown tremendously over the past two years after I discovered myself through www.neibazfashion.com but it’s strange for me and anybody who has known me personally because during most of my childhood and early adult life I was a really reserved person and usually decided to keep most things to myself. This is a different experience for me because in writing, especially in personal writing like in autobiographies or simply daily posts on personal encounters like I do on the blog, it’s always about being honest about yourself and rendering your vulnerabilities out to the world. So now in a strategic bid to console my fragile writing soul, I have promised to bring my ‘book’ to light only until when I turn 35.

Away from my writing fantasies, I am planning my long-awaited relocation to my home up country soon during this month of February. This is a happy moment for me because I can finally take a break from the hustle bustle type of environment in urban life. Again, almost in equal measures to the former excitement, I feel horrible because I have to leave most of my good friends behind. But some decisions we have to make not because they are the most pleasing, but because they are necessary in elevating our lives to new levels. In these moments, we struggle with internal battles within our hearts; one part confiding in the comfort of our current life and the other anxious about making a break into a new dispensation. My trip- Machakos en route -on the 11^th feels a lot like this battle. I feel bad to have to leave behind my good neighbors and friends I have made in many years, and again I cannot wait to get outside of my comfort zone and embrace a new outfit for my life; meet new friends, make new neighbors. I am making this decision not because I like leaving my good friends, but because it’s a necessary move for my personal growth. Moreover moving into a new area is a good thing for my friends who would want to come visiting as they will constantly have a good excuse to get outside town and come down to the country side away for a day or two far from the city’s tall buildings, traffic snarls and hustle urban environment. As I prepare to make this lifetime trip, where sky gazing, bird watching and culture soaking tops my to-do list, I will not be entirely detached from town as I will periodically need to come to the capital for various work appointments before I am able to build full capacity to work from home, times which I am able to grab a quick sip with friends. Another thing I am excited about is that going into the country side will improve on my exercise routine since the terrain is naturally characterized by hills. I am also able to write more because my dream writing environment encompasses trees, fresh air and the sound of gently flowing water in a river, which I am able to access easily from our farm as a small seasoned tributary passes nearby so really for me relocating to my rural home has many wins. I hope to post on the blog more often and share with you guys life from a different perspective.

Discovering Richness

Last weekend me and my good brother Ismail took a trip to Machakos as part of the preliminary activities for shooting a documentary on my historic uncle, which will be done by a researcher and explorer Jonathan. I first met Jonathan at an event several weeks ago now and when I introduced the story of Mathews (my uncle) to him his initial reaction was that of a mixture of skepticism and fascination. The personal documentary on Mathews; an American by decent, Kenyan by birth and Akamba by heritage tells the tale of a life of struggle of identity. A story that describes someone trying to get in touch with his roots and carefully embracing his future. It describes a journey of a white man struggling in a ‘foreign’ land and finding safety in his resolution to accepting the harsh realities of life. It draws the picture of a son who tries to come into terms with the death of his mother while still as a little child, disappearance of a father who worked with the American Navy in the 70’s and detachment of siblings as young kids. Jonathan is really excited about this incredible combination of culture and myself and Ismail are finding this experience of documenting as a whole new practice even with us having known a good portion of Mathew’s life story before.

A tribute to life

Coming at a time when I am marking a little below a quarter century of existence on planet earth, I am writing this with 1000% seriousness. So I was specifically born some 22 years ago on a day like yesterday {see 8^th June} at the largest maternal hospital in the country as is the case with most Nairobi babies. I know scarcely about my weight and other details at the time of my birth, but what I have been told continually by my mother is that my eyes had an extra glow on them. Whatever that means, I have strategically chosen it in my life to mean a good sign; to mean special, significant, to mean light. And it’s a good feeling to feel special, significant and to feel that you represent light even when it’s all only in your head.

Growing up was the usual affair of struggle and hardship but I am not going to bore you with that; because yesterday is a good day. A day of my eyes. A day that is special, significant and a day that represents light not only to me but more important you reading this post. I usually honestly normally don’t get too excited about birthdays as I like to think of them as a time when you need to take stock of your life and I could honestly say that as far as my previous twenty something birthdays are concerned, not a single one I have felt like I have lived up to my expectations. Hence the reason why I have not been too big on celebrating considering birthdays as heavenly-put days to cross-examine your life. Though this should absolutely not be wrongly interpreted to mean people not to celebrate their birthdays heey! any opportunity for celebration should be fully taken advantage of because life should be good like that! 

Wait, where were we before I started losing the thread of our serious conversation? Yes, taking stock! I have learned that the key to achieving personal growth which to me, in all its various regards, forms the general purpose of life, is to surround yourself with good company. For me, my good company has been my family especially my best mother in the world and a circle of good friends who are keen on both your growth individually and collectively as friends. I read somewhere that the dignity of human development lies in the ability to change; it’s a sign of progress. I read somewhere else that the only human institution that rejects change is the cemetery. These two illustrations of life have been the two rails my train of life has been running on. One being a constant reminder that I should at all times progressively make positive changes into my life and the other guiltily reminding me that should I not do the former my life will compare dismally to a cemetery, not very decent of a comparison. To bottom line the day that was yesterday and in the spirit of taking stock I’ll leave you with this: www.neibazfashion.com . And so I’ve taken stock.

Thanks for dropping by.