Dec 22, 2015

FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE LOST YOU HAVE GAINED SOMETHING


Over the past few months, I have gone through a rough phase in my life. First, I lost my job and subsequently a few horrible things happened. Some of my personal projects I had started had to stop because either, obviously, I lucked financing to ensure their continuity or, and more so, because I became paranoid and made a lot of emotional decisions.
As I scribe these words I am having internal battles in my mind and heart whether or not to continue writing, and whether a few years from now I won’t look back and see this as immature; I have decided to continue writing because in this story I am saying the truth, and not just saying it to you who is reading this right now but, importantly saying it to myself. And even many years from now I won’t care if such a gesture seems adolescent.  
Those who may know me personally or are regular visitors on the blog probably know by now about my involvement with a fashion styling group called Neibaz. A trio, I was part of the founding members of this men’s lifestyle blog that used style to tell stories. Initially a group of friends from high school, we were brought together as a result of our thirst for art, we wanted to present a fresh outlook on the men’s fashion scene through combining our different backgrounds and perspectives; and thus Neibaz was born. Soon after inception we quickly grew ‘famous’. As we grew on the internet and also outside social platform, we realized that with a little more effort and organization, we could as well make a living off of our passion.
And so we began to teach ourselves how to become businessmen.

Everything was happening so fast and so simultaneously. At times we had furious misunderstandings, which was/is very normal and necessary, but what kept us going were our common vision and our commitment that whatever we were going to do we would do it as friends first before anything else. That bond was important for us; it was what kept us united. Fast forward to a few months ago. All of us started growing tremendously individually and one of us pulled out amicably sighting technical reasons on his part. We knew that we would be fine even after our friend had left because we still believed in the vision of our business; and we were still willing and ready to continue working on being better friends and entrepreneurs. We were wrong. No, I WAS WRONG!

In February I moved out of Nairobi to Machakos and little did I know that this would literally be the end of my ‘old life’ and beginning of my new life. It turns out “The level of backbiting went to a whole new level” (as one of my new friends likes to put it) when I went out of sight. Business had been growing rapidly and I had just helped sign a good deal with one of the leading stylists in the country. As soon as I went back to Macha, the details of the contract changed and my colleagues signed a contract in my absentia. Now later they gave me a valid reason why they had to assent to a contract in my absence but it’s a reason now as I look back is only laughable! Two months later I was to not only lose my salary as part of the contract, but also everything I have worked my sweat, blood and tears for almost three years; and most hurting part, lose my friends. I had to leave them for good. Challenges in business I could handle but mistrust and backbiting? I could not stand! Now everybody has their own story to tell and perhaps this one of mine many people might find unrelatable or simply utter boring; but it’s my story. And only I can tell it. It may not have so much significance within the vast issues that can be discussed but it sure means a lot to me, especially to my present and future me.

By the way! I have noticed that when one thing goes wrong so many other wrong things happen as a result. It’s funny. When you are going through one sad phase in your life, several terrible things happen subsequently and almost systematically, and then all of a sudden your whole life seems to be nose diving. Nonetheless, the opposite holds true. When one good thing happens, several other nice things come with it. That’s kind of the thrilling part.

As I write these final words, I am currently in food, specifically keeping poultry; and doing a lot of research work on this idea I am having about my style sensibilities and hoping I will gather enough courage someday and do it; I am kidding, I am going to do it. At the same time I am keeping my dreams about being a writer alive. Speaking of, I have penned a few poems on this compilation I am calling ‘THE PYRAMID TEXT’. I will be glad to share with you some of the poems on here soon. In the meantime I am wishing my friends all the luck in the world and hoping that my subsequent writings hereon will be a positive story.
Thank you for your time